So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
