I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
