so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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