I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
