p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
