Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
never play flip cup with pint glasses
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
