So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
