he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
