Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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