I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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