Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
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