it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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