i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
