You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
That's how pantless uber rides happen
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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