I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
