I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
