and she was petting her beer can
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
