i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize