my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize