I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Randomize
