I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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