I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
All I want is dick and wine.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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