I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
