But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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