if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
