He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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