So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
