i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
