Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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