Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
