Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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