I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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