nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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