Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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