is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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