apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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