brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
