WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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