Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He passed out mid-signature
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
i've created a new STD.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
