i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
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