Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
