just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
