Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I queefed so loud it echoed.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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