i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
