Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
