A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize