Screwed.edu
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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