I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
now i know why i became what i already was.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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