I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
