it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
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