Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
