And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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