why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
