ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize