btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Randomize
