I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
So much Jack, so little girl.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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