So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
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