There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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