I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
