But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Randomize