well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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