you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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