I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
