if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
