That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
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