Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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