marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Randomize
