he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize